Tips for Starting Therapy
Deciding you want to start therapy is a big, amazing decision. Congrats! You are on the path to life-changing growth.
Unfortunately, that choice can sometimes come with some major hurdles. It can be challenging to find the right fit. Often, people are full, don’t work with your current issue, don’t take your insurance, etc.
As a therapist with a private practice, I know how hard it is. And believe me, it shouldn’t be this challenging!
Here are some tips to make finding the right therapist a smoother journey.
Tips For Starting Online Therapy
TAKE TIME TO FIND THE RIGHT FIT. IF IT FEELS OFF, SAY SOMETHING! REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE CONSUMER, AND YOU’RE IN CHARGE.
So often, I hear from college students that they tried therapy in high school but didn’t like it because they didn’t like the therapist. This always breaks my heart! Speaking up and sharing your needs IS part of the therapeutic process. If you don’t like your therapist, say something! Finding the right fit is crucial; this is a great way to practice your sense of agency and choice.
SIT WITH YOURSELF AND ASK WHAT YOU’RE HOPING TO GET OUT OF THERAPY.
Before starting therapy, I suggest sitting down and thinking of 1-3 “issues” that you currently want to work on. If you have difficulty coming up with anything, you could also work on this with your therapist. Like I said before, you are the consumer and in charge. Try to assess what you are wanting out of this “product”. It will probably make you a much more engaged participant.
ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF - SHARE YOUR GOALS WITH YOUR THERAPIST.
After you come up with some goals, share them with your therapist. They will probably work with you to develop a treatment plan to keep you on track. If you notice that the sessions are moving off track, speak up.
MOVE SLOWLY. YOU DON’T HAVE TO CONQUER EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE.
Just because you’ve come up with some goals doesn’t mean you must conquer them all at once. They could take years to achieve (which is completely normal). Don’t rush the process. Real, lasting change takes time.
CREATE A THERAPY RITUAL FOR BEFORE AND AFTER SESSIONS.
Ritual helps us mark the significance of things. Therapy is a big deal. Letting your body and mind know it’s the beginning and end of therapy is huge for integration. Try journaling before and after, meditating, walking, dancing, eating yummy food. Whatever feels good to you!
It’s totally normal (and healthy) to block off time after your therapy sessions for self-care. If you are doing EMDR reprocessing or deep trauma work, I’d suggest blocking off the next hour or two after your session to relax your system. Go for a hike, take a bubble bath, do a yoga class, relax in bed with a good book.
What to expect during a consult call
Most therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation call. This is a great place to ask questions about their style, how often you’ll meet, whether they are in-person or virtual, their educational background, and if they work with your current issue. I usually start with the current issue - I don’t want a client to hear all about me and my background and then open up only to be told I don’t work with what they’re presenting. The call is always scheduled for 15 minutes, so if I know right away that we’re not a good fit, I can spend the time helping them connect with someone who would be a good fit!
It’s important to check in with yourself during this call (i.e. your intuition, gut, knowing).
Do you feel comfortable?
Settled?
Okay, with being vulnerable?
You don’t need to know at that moment! I always recommend reaching out to at least three therapists. You are the customer; you get to decide. Take time to decide if you want to schedule something, and then reach back out to the therapist that feels right.
Four Questions to ask a therapist during a consult call:
HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE? DO YOU TAKE INSURANCE?
If you are paying out of pocket, poke around on psychology today to see the average rates in your area. This varies greatly depending on your location. A higher fee does not necessarily mean higher quality; the same goes for a lower fee! Just because someone charges less than the average does not mean it’s below-average therapy. Know what you are comfortable paying before the call. I’d suggest committing to weekly sessions for at least ten weeks.
WHAT’S THEIR THERAPEUTIC STYLE?
I cannot tell you how many people call asking if I use CBT, only to discover later that they want nothing to do with CBT (for the record, I am not a CBT therapist). CBT is a well-researched modality, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end all be all.
Even as someone trained in therapy, it’s hard to keep up with all the different modalities and acronyms. Instead, think of it as different approaches and styles. Do you want someone who is direct? Someone who will let you talk and process on your own? Gives homework assignments? Journaling prompts? Do you want to do trauma work (things from your past) or work on more future-oriented goals?
Therapy is all about attunement, meaning the relationship.
The training of the therapist is just a bonus. Sense how connected and comfortable you feel to the therapist during the first phone call and go from there.
WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY OF SESSIONS?
This one varies greatly on financial restrictions, relevant issues, availability of the therapist, and integration. I suggest starting with once-a-week sessions to build a relationship and familiarity with the therapist. If you go out longer than once a week, you might spend a large chunk of the session playing catch-up rather than getting into the relevant issues. That said, some people feel like once a week is too often and don’t have time to integrate what they’re discussing in therapy outside of the session. Talk this over in the consult call and see what feels right for you.
VIRTUAL OR IN-PERSON?
The dividing question! As a virtual-only therapist, I am a big proponent of online therapy. It saves time, can increase comfort levels in the home, and seems as effective as in-person (for most people). But that does not mean it works for everyone. Some people need the drive to and from the session to process. Some people need to feel like they are truly in a private space. There’s no right or wrong. Again, discuss this in your consult call to better understand which modality works best for you. There are plenty of options!
I also get a lot of questions about doing EMDR therapy virtually. In the consult call, many people are surprised that it’s possible in a virtual setting when, in fact, it’s almost identical to in-person! The only difference is the method of bilateral stimulation. In an online setting, I usually use a bright ball that clients watch on the screen and can tap along to. That’s it! Other than that, everything else remains the same.
If you are interested in starting virtual trauma therapy sessions, reach out today to set up a free consult call. We offer therapy sessions for anyone located in Pennsylvania or Colorado and somatic trauma sessions for people located anywhere.